


What You Lose When You Win

by PFDiva



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Other, adelaide being petty at hella's expense, adelaide sads, almost definitely not canonical but idgaf, siblings being siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 23:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13751214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: The line is unbroken and Adelaide has taken her place as the Queen of Death in the afterlife.  What does that mean for her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have written this after Autumn in Hieron, so I'm sure a lot of this gets jossed, but watch me giving absolutely NO fucks because I have too many feelings about Adelaide. Also, this was supposed to be Adelaide/Fero, but I thrive on causing pain.

The part of Adelaide that was queen of Nacre exulted at the knowledge that Angelo was aware she was coming to replace him. No power struggle, no succession battle. A smooth transition.

The part of her that was Angelo's little sister pouted because she hadn't managed to get the drop on him.

Either way, as the blood drained from her body, she let go of life as well. She let herself die, and found herself in the throne room again. It was stark and white, with Angelo sitting on the throne in black and red. They were the only ones here. Ah, poor Angelo. The god of death to an undying populace. No wonder Ordenna looked so uncomfortable admitting that she'd seen him again. He must have been furious.

He wasn't furious now. Sad and a little sheepish, but not angry. He slumped in the throne the way he'd always slumped in the throne in life. The posture should have looked decadent and cocky, but as in life, he merely looked tired. He had to know she was coming, but he didn't acknowledge her until she'd reached the throne.

"I didn't want this."

"I know."

He scrubbed at his face and sighed, "Father really DID task her to kill me."

"Selfish bastard," Adelaide commiserated. Angelo huffed out a laugh and sat up to look her in the face as she continued, "But you forgave her. I felt it, in my last moments. I felt YOU."

"It's her nature," he admitted, waving off Ordenna, "How can I stay mad at her for that?"

Adelaide's voice was flat and a little bitter when she replied, "Easily." He flinched. "Neither of us loved him, but you KILLED him and ran away. One or the other could have been worked around, but why both?"

Adelaide settled herself on the steps at the base of the throne. It had been so long since she'd done this with Angelo--just sat by the throne and talked to him. And here, in this space with only them, she could be honest the way they never could in the real throne room.

Perhaps some of that honesty infected Angelo, because his reply was shockingly stark. "It was the only way to ensure you got the throne."

"I didn't want it like this."

"But you wanted it."

She conceded the point by leaning her shoulder against his leg. He'd always been a dreamer, her brother. He'd never wanted to be king, and their father's vision for Nacre? Not at all shared by his son. The throne room began to change around them, chunks thrown by Ordennan cannons, probably. Angelo sighed miserably.

"I hate this idea."

"It's the best thing for Nacre."

"I really hate this idea."

Adelaide laughed fondly, because she understood. It was painful to her, but she had faith in the ends, even if the means were rough. She got to her feet, offering Angelo her hand, "It's time for you to move on, I think. I'm looking forward to seeing my newest citizens again."

"You're looking forward to seeing Fero again," Angelo taunted, seeing right through her in that annoying way he did. Brothers were such a pain. They thought they knew you. It was worse when they were right.

"He feels so interesting. You'd know that if you hadn't thrown everything away."

He grunted in annoyance. He hadn't been cut off from everything in life, but she'd felt so much more, as queen. He could have had it instead of her. She appreciated him giving it up for her, but he did give it up.

He took her hand and a rush of knowledge flooded her, accompanied by the power of Tristero as filtered by generations of her family. She knew. She knew their whole line all the way back to Tristero himself. She saw what he'd done for Nacre and what he'd done to himself. She knew her father's intentions and Angelo's as well. She felt vindicated for her choice to die at Ordenna's hand and she triumphantly grinned at Angelo. He looked sadder, smaller, paler. Like a snake preparing to shed its skin.

Only he'd already shed it. The black and red robes he'd been wearing had transformed themselves back into the clothing he'd died in. Adelaide now wore the heavy garments and provided the only color to this washed-out world.

"Rule well, little sister." He kissed her cheek and was gone.

"Rest well, my brother."


	2. Chapter 2

Adelaide watched the destruction that the invasion of Ordenna wrought on her throne room with a wistful sense of sadness. She'd spent a long time ruling from that throne room, and even longer living in and around it.

When the metaphorical dust settled, she sought out Ordenna--Hella Varal. The woman blanched at the sight of Adelaide, "Where...Where's Calhoun?" The name still made Adelaide want to grimace. She didn't, but she wanted to.

"Angelo has gone to his final rest and I have taken his place. The line is unbroken and Nacre shall live on."

She saw realization dawn on Ordenna's face and felt smug. The woman slumped back against a pillar and inspected her feet for a long time before asking, "So...am I dead now? Again?"

"No. This is merely a dream. I wanted you to know that Nacre owes you a great debt. And my brother has forgiven you." Her words visibly caused Ordenna's jaw to drop in horror and Adelaide felt a vindictive sort of pleasure. She was queen and should be above that, but this woman killed her brother. The fact that good news for Nacre was bad news for Ordenna was just a plus.

"Wait just a moment--," Ordenna began, but Adelaide already knew it would be useless rationalizing and Ordenna's frustration at things she couldn't change.

" _Thank you Ordenna,_ " Adelaide declared, dismissing Ordenna from this place. Whether the woman woke up or merely dreamed of other things, Adelaide couldn't say and she didn't care.

The next one Adelaide visited was the archivist, Lem. He took a long time to notice her, absorbed in looking around the throne room and making distressed noises over the architectural damage he saw. He'd truly cared about Nacre, even though he couldn't put its best interests over those of Ordenna. He would have learned, given enough time.

Eventually, he noticed her and flinched, his hands folding in to his chest, shoulders hunching up as his chin dipped with shame. A moment later, he looked up, his expression frustrated as he stepped closer, "I didn't know they were going to do this…!"

"I know," Adelaide soothed, "You couldn't have known."

"Oh, but I could have guessed! I should have guessed."

"I do not blame you for their choices."

He held onto his misery only a moment before his hands dropped and he looked around with yearning eyes, "Where are we?"

"The land of the dead. The eternal throne of Nacre." He made another distressed noise and stumbled closer to the throne, his eyes on something behind Adelaide.

"Everything's been destroyed. All of that beauty, that history. All gone."

"Not gone. Damaged, but still there." Adelaide reached out to put a soothing hand on Lem's shoulder and he gave her his full attention, worried. Ah, but he was so expressive. She couldn't help but wonder if he would still have been so expressive in a hundred years, a thousand. "You'll find it, won't you? And share us with Hieron?"

Something shuttered in Lem's eyes and it stabbed another blade through Adelaide's heart. He loved Nacre. He'd wanted to be a Citizen. Why did he falter now?

Either way, he stumbled back like he'd been struck, "I. I shouldn't. I didn't want them to kill you, but I...I don't want the world you seem to want, either. It's not….not how it should be." He turned away, hugging himself with misery and Adelaide was suddenly angry. She sent Lem away without another word. She knew he would awaken and understand how she felt from that.

It was a long time before Adelaide decided to visit Fero. She had so much time with her own thoughts now, and she used it to think. Eventually, she decided that yes, she still believed in what she'd been trying to do for Nacre.

She tried to reach out to Fero, and he wasn't there. Or rather, he was there, but she couldn't reach him. She could feel that he existed, but his dreams were closed off to her. Confused, she reached for Lem. Nothing. Hella. Nothing. They really were citizens of Nacre now. Undying until they chose to let go of life.

Forever closed off from her.

It was beneath a queen to cry over something so small as not getting to see her irreverent cad of a little bird, but Adelaide didn't have a court's eyes on her. In this moment, she was a woman. And a lonely one at that. She cried until there was nothing left in her to weep out.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She was the goddess of death for the citizens of Nacre until her descendants took the throne. Citizens of Nacre only died when they chose to and she had no descendants. She'd be here, alone, for a very long time.


End file.
